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Monday, September 17, 2018

Worst Relationship Advice About Marriage

Worst Relationship Advice About Marriage

I am a woman that has been successfully married for 20 years. I have been with my husband for 21 years total. My knowledge based is on my own experiences as well as years of experience with family, friends, and clients that came to me for advice about life, career, relationships, and loss of direction. I specialize in helping people identify and achieve their personal goals by coping with the issues that are causing them distress. 

When you marry someone, it should be because you want them, not because you need them. Your spouse is an addition to your life, not a completion to your partial self. You should already be a complete, healthy human being that can function completely without being in a relationship with anyone. If that's not the case, you need to work on yourself before you jump into a relationship. Otherwise, it's really not fair to them and they won't make you happy. Think about it. Why would you want to marry half of a person? No one should complete you.

In a poll, according to relationship experts, the worst relationship advice you can give anyone about marriage is to tell them that their spouse is supposed to make them happy. No, you're supposed to make yourself happy. Thinking that your partner is supposed to make you happy is damaging to a relationship. If you're not in a relationship, what that does is make you wait around for that magical, perfect person that will take all your sadness away. So, you're waiting for a fairytale prince or princess? When that person doesn't "make you happy", you'll have more conflicts and arguments. That's an unhealthy approach to any relationship. Happiness comes from inside of you. If you weren't happy before you got married, you won't be happy after you get married either.

Your spouse is supposed to be a healthy human being, just like you. As two healthy human beings, you will have mutual love and respect for each other. However, at the end of the day, no one will respect you more than you respect yourself. If your spouse is causing you any harm either physically, mentally, or emotionally, then it is up to you to love and respect yourself enough to seek help to repair the marriage or to move on with your life. No, I am not saying that is an easy task, but those are your two healthy options.

Marriage is a full-time job so you can't go at it half a** or part-time. It requires selflessness and commitment by both individuals. You have to be actively participating. If that's not for you then don't get married. You could have all the money in the world and still be a miserable person. You could have a wonderful partner and still be unhappy. With that said, marriage amplifies or adds to the happiness that's already inside of you; it doesn't create it. If you want to be happy, work on your self-development. Start by learning to be happy by yourself. You are worth it! The sooner you believe that, the happier you'll be.

Don't forget to click the blue "Follow" button to follow me on my blog. If you want me to write more about marriage and relationships then let me know. Talk soon.

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